Akpors close from work on
Friday and decided to giveany
lady that came his way a lift. After
the 2nd turn from isoffice along
Ikorodu expressway, he saw a
nun and gave her a lift. While
they were going he did not
know how to start a
conversation with her, therefore,
he placed his hand on her laps
pretending if it was a gear stick.
The sister softly said
Mathew7;7' , he quickly removed
his hand, and resume
concentrating on his driving. He
attempted it the 2nd and 3rd
time, and each time, she
repeated, Mathew 7:7'. When the
nun got to her destination, she
opened the door and said to the
man, 'Youngman, the problem
with you is that you don't read
your Bible When akpors got
home, he opened his Bible to
MATHEW 7:7 which reads "ask
and it shall be given". He nearly
cried.
Tuesday, 26 July 2016
Monday, 25 July 2016
Jokes: husband & the blind man
Husband & wife are waiting @
the bus stop with their nine
children. A blind man joins them
after a few minutes. When the
bus arrives, they find it
overloaded & only the wife & the
nine kids are able to fit onto the
bus.
So the husband & the blind man
decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the
ticking of the stick of the blind
man as he taps it on the
sidewalk, & says to him: 'Why
don't you put a piece of rubber
@ the end of your stick? That
ticking sound is driving me
crazy.'
The blind man replies: 'If you had
put a rubber @ the end of your
stick,
the bus stop with their nine
children. A blind man joins them
after a few minutes. When the
bus arrives, they find it
overloaded & only the wife & the
nine kids are able to fit onto the
bus.
So the husband & the blind man
decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the
ticking of the stick of the blind
man as he taps it on the
sidewalk, & says to him: 'Why
don't you put a piece of rubber
@ the end of your stick? That
ticking sound is driving me
crazy.'
The blind man replies: 'If you had
put a rubber @ the end of your
stick,
Sunday, 24 July 2016
Comedy: ADAMU, THE STUDENT-PILOT
Adamu, an airplane cleaner,
was cleaning the pilot's cockpit
when he saw a book entitled,
"HOW TO FLY AN Airplane FOR
BEGINNERS. FCC. Volume 1"
He opened the 1st page which
said: To start the engine, press
the red button. He did so, and
the airplane engine started. He
was happy, and opened the next
page:
To set airplane moving, press
the blue button. He did so and
the plane started moving at an
amazing speed.
✈ He wanted to fly, so he opened
the 3rd page which said: To let
airplane fly, please press the
green button. He did so and the
plane started to fly. He was
excited.
After 20 minutes of flying, he
was satisfied and wanted to land
so he decided to go to the 4th
page. He fainted after reading
the instructions.
The 4th page said: To learn
how to land a plane, please buy
Volume 2 at the nearest
bookshop.
was cleaning the pilot's cockpit
when he saw a book entitled,
"HOW TO FLY AN Airplane FOR
BEGINNERS. FCC. Volume 1"
He opened the 1st page which
said: To start the engine, press
the red button. He did so, and
the airplane engine started. He
was happy, and opened the next
page:
To set airplane moving, press
the blue button. He did so and
the plane started moving at an
amazing speed.
✈ He wanted to fly, so he opened
the 3rd page which said: To let
airplane fly, please press the
green button. He did so and the
plane started to fly. He was
excited.
After 20 minutes of flying, he
was satisfied and wanted to land
so he decided to go to the 4th
page. He fainted after reading
the instructions.
The 4th page said: To learn
how to land a plane, please buy
Volume 2 at the nearest
bookshop.
Comedy: Akpos visited his grandma
Akpos visited his grandma.
His grandma wasn't feeling well,
so she went to the nearby
pharmacy to buy some drugs for
herself.
After dinner, she brought out the
drugs to take. She checked the
directives and saw "2 X 3 daily"
as written by the chemist.
She became confused on
whether to take 2 or 3 tablets.
To be at a safe side, the old
woman stood up to go and
confirm
from the chemist.
Akpos shouted "Grandma where
to this night?"
The grandma replied "My son, am
kind of confused whether to
take 2 or 3 tablets, I want to go
and meet the chemist for
clarification"
Akpos laughed and said "let me
see the drug"
He looked at it and saw "2 X 3
daily" boldly written on the
carton.
He laughed uncontrollable.
"Why are u laughing?" His
grandma asked
Akpos replied "its because you
don't know simple arithmetic.
2X3=6. So just take 6 tables let's
go to bed"
Akpos found her grandma dead
the next morning.
Who do u think Akpos is, a killer?
His grandma wasn't feeling well,
so she went to the nearby
pharmacy to buy some drugs for
herself.
After dinner, she brought out the
drugs to take. She checked the
directives and saw "2 X 3 daily"
as written by the chemist.
She became confused on
whether to take 2 or 3 tablets.
To be at a safe side, the old
woman stood up to go and
confirm
from the chemist.
Akpos shouted "Grandma where
to this night?"
The grandma replied "My son, am
kind of confused whether to
take 2 or 3 tablets, I want to go
and meet the chemist for
clarification"
Akpos laughed and said "let me
see the drug"
He looked at it and saw "2 X 3
daily" boldly written on the
carton.
He laughed uncontrollable.
"Why are u laughing?" His
grandma asked
Akpos replied "its because you
don't know simple arithmetic.
2X3=6. So just take 6 tables let's
go to bed"
Akpos found her grandma dead
the next morning.
Who do u think Akpos is, a killer?
Saturday, 23 July 2016
Comedy: Akpors: i'm Jo-KING
Teacher: Tell me three Kings
that
Brought Happiness on Earth.
Akpors: Drin-KING, Smo-KING
and
fuc-KING.
Teacher: WHAT!!??
.
.
.
Akpors: i'm Jo-KING
,;
that
Brought Happiness on Earth.
Akpors: Drin-KING, Smo-KING
and
fuc-KING.
Teacher: WHAT!!??
.
.
.
Akpors: i'm Jo-KING
,;
Comedy: a psychiatrist and his patients
A psychiatrist wanted to know
how many of his
patients have been cured of
madness, so he
assembled them in a classroom
and drew a big door
on the board.
He then told the class that if
anyone could open the
door on the board, that person
would receive a gift of N20,000
and would be free to
go home. On hearing this, they all
rushed to the board
to open the door except one
young lady who remained
in her seat at the back smiling.
The psychiatrist with
joy and excitement on his face
seeing that somebody
has been cured of madness went
to her and asked, Ngozi why
didn't u join your mates to open
the door?
She replied "no mind those mad
people, they are just
fooling themselves hahahaha
dem no know say the
key dey my pocket…..
,;
how many of his
patients have been cured of
madness, so he
assembled them in a classroom
and drew a big door
on the board.
He then told the class that if
anyone could open the
door on the board, that person
would receive a gift of N20,000
and would be free to
go home. On hearing this, they all
rushed to the board
to open the door except one
young lady who remained
in her seat at the back smiling.
The psychiatrist with
joy and excitement on his face
seeing that somebody
has been cured of madness went
to her and asked, Ngozi why
didn't u join your mates to open
the door?
She replied "no mind those mad
people, they are just
fooling themselves hahahaha
dem no know say the
key dey my pocket…..
,;
Friday, 22 July 2016
Comedy: Akpos nominated as class prefect
TEACHER: What do you do after
class?
.
1ST STUDENT: I buy weed from
Akpos.
.
2ND STUDENT: I go to Akpos'
house to buy a
cigarette.
.
3RD STUDENT: I pass by Akpos'
house to buy
gin.
.
4TH STUDENT: I always go home
to do my
assignments.
.
TEACHER: Great!!! (praising the 4th student) I hereby
nominate you as
class prefect to be a good
example to your
colleagues...Wh at's your name
again?
.
.
.
.
4TH STUDENT: Akpos
.
If you were the teacher, what
would you do?
class?
.
1ST STUDENT: I buy weed from
Akpos.
.
2ND STUDENT: I go to Akpos'
house to buy a
cigarette.
.
3RD STUDENT: I pass by Akpos'
house to buy
gin.
.
4TH STUDENT: I always go home
to do my
assignments.
.
TEACHER: Great!!! (praising the 4th student) I hereby
nominate you as
class prefect to be a good
example to your
colleagues...Wh at's your name
again?
.
.
.
.
4TH STUDENT: Akpos
.
If you were the teacher, what
would you do?
What is love?
A very poor man lived with his
wife whose hair was so long it
touched her waist. One day the
wife asked her husband to buy
her a comb for her long hair so
that it can continue to grow well
and to be well groomed. The
man felt sorry and said he didnt
have money even to fix the strap
of his watch which had just
broken. The wife did not insist.
On his way to work the man
passed by a watch shop, sold his
damaged watch at a low price
and went to buy a comb for his
wife. He came back home in the
evening with a comb in his hand
ready to give to his wife. He was
surprised to see his wife with
very short hair. She had cut and
sold her hair and bought a brand
new watch for her husband.
Tears flowed simultaneously
from their eyes, not for the
futility of their actions, but for
the reciprocity of their love. Love
is when the other person's
happiness is more important
than your own. Give love and
show love where it matters and
let it be the God centered love.
How great our marriages will be
if only we as couples can out do
each other in love and sacrifice.
How awesome it will be that we
each wake up thinking of what
to do to make each other happy.
Selfishness must not be allowed.
wife whose hair was so long it
touched her waist. One day the
wife asked her husband to buy
her a comb for her long hair so
that it can continue to grow well
and to be well groomed. The
man felt sorry and said he didnt
have money even to fix the strap
of his watch which had just
broken. The wife did not insist.
On his way to work the man
passed by a watch shop, sold his
damaged watch at a low price
and went to buy a comb for his
wife. He came back home in the
evening with a comb in his hand
ready to give to his wife. He was
surprised to see his wife with
very short hair. She had cut and
sold her hair and bought a brand
new watch for her husband.
Tears flowed simultaneously
from their eyes, not for the
futility of their actions, but for
the reciprocity of their love. Love
is when the other person's
happiness is more important
than your own. Give love and
show love where it matters and
let it be the God centered love.
How great our marriages will be
if only we as couples can out do
each other in love and sacrifice.
How awesome it will be that we
each wake up thinking of what
to do to make each other happy.
Selfishness must not be allowed.
Thursday, 21 July 2016
Thank God!
A Rich Man looked through his
window and saw a man picking
something from his dustbin, he
said thank GOD i am not poor.
The poor Man looked and saw a
Naked Man Misbehaving on the
street, he said thank GOD i am
not Mad. The Mad Man looked
and saw an Ambulance carrying
a patient he said thank GOD am
not Sick then a sick person saw a
trolley taking a Dead body to the
Mortuary he said thank GOD i am
not Dead.Only a Dead person can
not thank God..why can't you
thank GOD this evening for giving
usanother opportunity to live this
great day...........! Type THANK YOU
LORD and like this post.comment
and like if only u are thankful o
God.
window and saw a man picking
something from his dustbin, he
said thank GOD i am not poor.
The poor Man looked and saw a
Naked Man Misbehaving on the
street, he said thank GOD i am
not Mad. The Mad Man looked
and saw an Ambulance carrying
a patient he said thank GOD am
not Sick then a sick person saw a
trolley taking a Dead body to the
Mortuary he said thank GOD i am
not Dead.Only a Dead person can
not thank God..why can't you
thank GOD this evening for giving
usanother opportunity to live this
great day...........! Type THANK YOU
LORD and like this post.comment
and like if only u are thankful o
God.
Saturday, 16 July 2016
Comedy: A guy on a date with a brand new Range Rover Evoque
A guy on a date with a brand
new Range Rover Evoque,
riding with his Ghanaian babe.
Guy: I have been hiding a
secret from you and i think you
will break this relationship if I
tell u.
Girl: what is it my love??
Guy: I'm an SS (sickler) and HIV
positive.
Girl: (Hitting d guy on d lap),
you almost scared me!
Thought you wanted to say
this Range Rover you are
driving isn't yours… Eii…lol
new Range Rover Evoque,
riding with his Ghanaian babe.
Guy: I have been hiding a
secret from you and i think you
will break this relationship if I
tell u.
Girl: what is it my love??
Guy: I'm an SS (sickler) and HIV
positive.
Girl: (Hitting d guy on d lap),
you almost scared me!
Thought you wanted to say
this Range Rover you are
driving isn't yours… Eii…lol
Comedy: A guy on a date with a brand new Range Rover Evoque
A guy on a date with a brand
new Range Rover Evoque,
riding with his Ghanaian babe.
Guy: I have been hiding a
secret from you and i think you
will break this relationship if I
tell u.
Girl: what is it my love??
Guy: I'm an SS (sickler) and HIV
positive.
Girl: (Hitting d guy on d lap),
you almost scared me!
Thought you wanted to say
this Range Rover you are
driving isn't yours… Eii…lol
new Range Rover Evoque,
riding with his Ghanaian babe.
Guy: I have been hiding a
secret from you and i think you
will break this relationship if I
tell u.
Girl: what is it my love??
Guy: I'm an SS (sickler) and HIV
positive.
Girl: (Hitting d guy on d lap),
you almost scared me!
Thought you wanted to say
this Range Rover you are
driving isn't yours… Eii…lol
Thursday, 14 July 2016
(Comedy) Monday:- M.P.
OFFICER:- What is your name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- In full please
Monday:- Monday Paul
OFFICER:- Your father's name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What does that mean?
Monday:- Matthias Paul
OFFICER:- Your native place?
Monday : M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What's that?
Monday:- Mkpuma Province
OFFICER:- What is your
qualification?
Monday:- M.P.
OFFICER:- (angry) What is that?!!!
Monday:- Mathematics Professor
OFFICER:- So why do you need a
job?
Monday:- It is because of M.P. sir
OFFICER: Meaning?
Monday:- Money Problems
OFFICER:- Would you explain
yourself and stop wasting my
time? What's your personality
like?
Monday: MP sir.
OFFICER: And what is that?
Monday:- Marvelous Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to
you.
Monday:- Sir, how was M.P. sir?
OFFICER:- And what's that again?
Monday:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- I think you have M.P.
Monday:- Meaning?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- In full please
Monday:- Monday Paul
OFFICER:- Your father's name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What does that mean?
Monday:- Matthias Paul
OFFICER:- Your native place?
Monday : M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What's that?
Monday:- Mkpuma Province
OFFICER:- What is your
qualification?
Monday:- M.P.
OFFICER:- (angry) What is that?!!!
Monday:- Mathematics Professor
OFFICER:- So why do you need a
job?
Monday:- It is because of M.P. sir
OFFICER: Meaning?
Monday:- Money Problems
OFFICER:- Would you explain
yourself and stop wasting my
time? What's your personality
like?
Monday: MP sir.
OFFICER: And what is that?
Monday:- Marvelous Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to
you.
Monday:- Sir, how was M.P. sir?
OFFICER:- And what's that again?
Monday:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- I think you have M.P.
Monday:- Meaning?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!
Wednesday, 13 July 2016
Forbes' top 10 most valuable sports teams
1. Dallas Cowboys ($4bn)
2. Real Madrid ($3.65bn)
3. Barcelona ($3.55bn)
4. New York Yankees ($3.4bn)
5. Manchester United ($3.32bn)
6. New England Patriots ($3.2bn)
7. New York Knicks ($3bn)
8. Washington Redskins ($
2.85bn)
9. New York Giants ($2.8bn)
10. Los Angeles Lakers, San
Francisco 49ers (both $2.7bn)
2. Real Madrid ($3.65bn)
3. Barcelona ($3.55bn)
4. New York Yankees ($3.4bn)
5. Manchester United ($3.32bn)
6. New England Patriots ($3.2bn)
7. New York Knicks ($3bn)
8. Washington Redskins ($
2.85bn)
9. New York Giants ($2.8bn)
10. Los Angeles Lakers, San
Francisco 49ers (both $2.7bn)
Jokes: Pictures of Jesus
My mum is too religious! Over 30
pictures of Jesus Christ hanging
on our wall. I grew up thinking
he was my uncle.
pictures of Jesus Christ hanging
on our wall. I grew up thinking
he was my uncle.
Comedy: Honourable Senator
A man was taken to court for
calling a Honourable Senator a
Pig. He was a first offender and
the judge was in a good mood
and decided to show mercy. So
he discharged him after warning
him to desist from unguarded
utterances in future.
The man removed his cap and
thanked the benevolent judge
profusely, ''Thank you, your
lordship. Honestly sir, I didn't
know it was wrong to call a
Honourable Senator a pig. I
won't do it again. I am sorry.''
''It's okay'', said the judge, ''you
may go.''
''My lord, may I ask a question,
sir?''
''Feel free'' answered the judge.
''Now I know it's wrong to call a
Honourable Senator a Pig. But is
it also wrong to call a Pig
Honourable Senator?''
Amused, the judge replied, ''I
don't know why you would want
to address a pig as a senator. But
I don't think the pig would mind.
It's not unlawful, by the way. Yes,
you can call any pig Honourable
Senator.''
The man smiled and nodded,
then he turned to look pointedly
at the Senator and said,
''Goodbye, Honourable Senator.''
calling a Honourable Senator a
Pig. He was a first offender and
the judge was in a good mood
and decided to show mercy. So
he discharged him after warning
him to desist from unguarded
utterances in future.
The man removed his cap and
thanked the benevolent judge
profusely, ''Thank you, your
lordship. Honestly sir, I didn't
know it was wrong to call a
Honourable Senator a pig. I
won't do it again. I am sorry.''
''It's okay'', said the judge, ''you
may go.''
''My lord, may I ask a question,
sir?''
''Feel free'' answered the judge.
''Now I know it's wrong to call a
Honourable Senator a Pig. But is
it also wrong to call a Pig
Honourable Senator?''
Amused, the judge replied, ''I
don't know why you would want
to address a pig as a senator. But
I don't think the pig would mind.
It's not unlawful, by the way. Yes,
you can call any pig Honourable
Senator.''
The man smiled and nodded,
then he turned to look pointedly
at the Senator and said,
''Goodbye, Honourable Senator.''
Comedy: Akpos in China for vacation
Akpos and his two friends went
to China for vacation. Since they
were new at the place, they had
to stay in a hotel. They ended up
being on the 60th floor. The
policy of the hotel was that, at
midnight, the elevator is shut
down. The next day, they rented
a car and explored the city.
They enjoyed themselves and
arrived at the hotel pass
midnight. The elevators had been
shut down.
There was no other way to get to
their room than to take the stairs
all the way to the 60th floor.
The first friend said; for the first
20 floors, I will tell jokes to keep
us going. (pointing to the second
friend) you'll say wise stories for
the next 20 floors, and (pointing
to Akpos) you will cover the final
20 floors with sad stories.
They started telling jokes. With
lots of laugh and joy, they
reached the 20th floor.
The second friend started telling
stories full of wisdom. They had
learnt a lot on reaching the 40th
floor.
Now it was time for sad stories.
Akpos said; my first sad story is
that I forgot the key of the room
in the car.
to China for vacation. Since they
were new at the place, they had
to stay in a hotel. They ended up
being on the 60th floor. The
policy of the hotel was that, at
midnight, the elevator is shut
down. The next day, they rented
a car and explored the city.
They enjoyed themselves and
arrived at the hotel pass
midnight. The elevators had been
shut down.
There was no other way to get to
their room than to take the stairs
all the way to the 60th floor.
The first friend said; for the first
20 floors, I will tell jokes to keep
us going. (pointing to the second
friend) you'll say wise stories for
the next 20 floors, and (pointing
to Akpos) you will cover the final
20 floors with sad stories.
They started telling jokes. With
lots of laugh and joy, they
reached the 20th floor.
The second friend started telling
stories full of wisdom. They had
learnt a lot on reaching the 40th
floor.
Now it was time for sad stories.
Akpos said; my first sad story is
that I forgot the key of the room
in the car.
Funny Proverbs From The Nigerian Legendary Film Actor Pete Edochie
1. The little opportunity given to
a monkey to wear cloths, does
not guarantee it to join the
dinning table.
2. Girls are like mangoes, while
you are waiting for them to be
ripe, others are eating them with
salt.
3. Whoever presents his own
head to break coconut would not
be able to partake in the eating
of it.
4. A man who hangs around a
beautiful girl without saying a
word ends up fetching water for
guests at her wedding.
5. A man who counts his money
after withdrawing from the ATM
has trust issues.
6. If something that was going to
chop off your head only knocked
off your cap, you should be
grateful.
7. When a girl has beauty
without Brains, the Private parts
suffer the most.
8. Having a Female as a Best
friend is like having Chicken for a
pet, You will eat it some day.
9. The wolf on the hill is not as
hungry as the wolf climbing the
hill.
10. Never let negative and toxic
people rent space in your head.
Raise the rent & kick them out.
11. Life goes on, Even if you don't
want it to.
12. Drinking garri doesn't mean
you're poor but allowing it to
swell before drinking is poverty.
13. The buttocks are like a
married couple though there is
constant friction between them,
they will still love and live
together.
Which number is your favorite
and why???
No 7 and 8 are very true...what
do you think?
a monkey to wear cloths, does
not guarantee it to join the
dinning table.
2. Girls are like mangoes, while
you are waiting for them to be
ripe, others are eating them with
salt.
3. Whoever presents his own
head to break coconut would not
be able to partake in the eating
of it.
4. A man who hangs around a
beautiful girl without saying a
word ends up fetching water for
guests at her wedding.
5. A man who counts his money
after withdrawing from the ATM
has trust issues.
6. If something that was going to
chop off your head only knocked
off your cap, you should be
grateful.
7. When a girl has beauty
without Brains, the Private parts
suffer the most.
8. Having a Female as a Best
friend is like having Chicken for a
pet, You will eat it some day.
9. The wolf on the hill is not as
hungry as the wolf climbing the
hill.
10. Never let negative and toxic
people rent space in your head.
Raise the rent & kick them out.
11. Life goes on, Even if you don't
want it to.
12. Drinking garri doesn't mean
you're poor but allowing it to
swell before drinking is poverty.
13. The buttocks are like a
married couple though there is
constant friction between them,
they will still love and live
together.
Which number is your favorite
and why???
No 7 and 8 are very true...what
do you think?
PRECAUTION is more powerful than EXPERTISE!
At an interview to fill the vacancy
of a Field Engineer in a
multinational oil company, two
competent and qualified
Engineers were shortlisted and
the company was to decide on
who to retain and who to show
the red card.
They asked them if they could
drive and they both answered in
the affirmative, though only one
of them could drive.
The Head of Human Resources
spearheading the interview cum
pruning session then handed
them his car keys to prove their
driving skills within the premises.
The over-confident applicant
collected the keys, opened the
car, switched on the ignition,
lighted it up, sped off, swirled,
swerved and made some stunts
on wheels before parking the car
on the same spot to the seeming
rousing applause and
mischievously knowing smile of
the interviewers.
The other applicant, who could
not drive collected the keys all the
same, opened the car, opened
the bonnet, checked the engine
oil level, the brake fluid level, the
gear oil level and the water in the
radiator level.
As he closed the bonnet, the
Chief Interviewer walked
towards him and said: "Don't
bother driving, you've just been
hired!"
PRECAUTION is more powerful
than EXPERTISE!
The race is not to the swiftest,
but to the wise! Don't be brash
and over-confident. Learn the
ropes and never back off from
giving your best even if you don't
possess what it takes.
That someone is doing it fast
doesn't mean he is doing it right!
Direction is more important than
speed!
Exercise caution and take
precaution in the journey of life -
that's how to be recruited into
the employment of success....
of a Field Engineer in a
multinational oil company, two
competent and qualified
Engineers were shortlisted and
the company was to decide on
who to retain and who to show
the red card.
They asked them if they could
drive and they both answered in
the affirmative, though only one
of them could drive.
The Head of Human Resources
spearheading the interview cum
pruning session then handed
them his car keys to prove their
driving skills within the premises.
The over-confident applicant
collected the keys, opened the
car, switched on the ignition,
lighted it up, sped off, swirled,
swerved and made some stunts
on wheels before parking the car
on the same spot to the seeming
rousing applause and
mischievously knowing smile of
the interviewers.
The other applicant, who could
not drive collected the keys all the
same, opened the car, opened
the bonnet, checked the engine
oil level, the brake fluid level, the
gear oil level and the water in the
radiator level.
As he closed the bonnet, the
Chief Interviewer walked
towards him and said: "Don't
bother driving, you've just been
hired!"
PRECAUTION is more powerful
than EXPERTISE!
The race is not to the swiftest,
but to the wise! Don't be brash
and over-confident. Learn the
ropes and never back off from
giving your best even if you don't
possess what it takes.
That someone is doing it fast
doesn't mean he is doing it right!
Direction is more important than
speed!
Exercise caution and take
precaution in the journey of life -
that's how to be recruited into
the employment of success....
Tuesday, 12 July 2016
Jokes: Embrace Your Mistake
I told my dad to embrace his
mistake then he cried and
hugged my sister and I...
mistake then he cried and
hugged my sister and I...
Jokes: My dad said we originated from monkeys
In a primary school...
TEACHER: Today children, we're
going to talk about the
origination of human beings. As
you ALL know, we human beings
come from Adam and Eve and . . .
(Interrupted by little Tom)...
Tom: My dad said we originated
from the monkeys.
TEACHER: Jim that might be true,
but we're not talking about your
family right now.
TEACHER: Today children, we're
going to talk about the
origination of human beings. As
you ALL know, we human beings
come from Adam and Eve and . . .
(Interrupted by little Tom)...
Tom: My dad said we originated
from the monkeys.
TEACHER: Jim that might be true,
but we're not talking about your
family right now.
Comedy: Akpos “Goodbye, Mother!”
Akpos was walking through a
supermarket to pick up a few
things when he noticed an old
lady following him around.
Thinking nothing of it, he
ignored her and continued on.
Finally he went to the checkout
line, but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry
if my staring at you has made
you feel uncomfortable. It's just
that you look just like my son,
who just died recently." "I'm very
sorry," replied Akpos, "is there
anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving,
can you say 'Good bye, Mother'?
It would make me feel so much
better." "Sure," answered Akpos.
As the old woman was leaving,
Akpos called out, "Goodbye,
Mother!" As he stepped up to the
checkout counter, he saw that
his total was N12250. "How can
that be?" He asked, "I only
purchased a few things!" "Your
mother said that you would pay
her," said the cashier.
supermarket to pick up a few
things when he noticed an old
lady following him around.
Thinking nothing of it, he
ignored her and continued on.
Finally he went to the checkout
line, but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry
if my staring at you has made
you feel uncomfortable. It's just
that you look just like my son,
who just died recently." "I'm very
sorry," replied Akpos, "is there
anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving,
can you say 'Good bye, Mother'?
It would make me feel so much
better." "Sure," answered Akpos.
As the old woman was leaving,
Akpos called out, "Goodbye,
Mother!" As he stepped up to the
checkout counter, he saw that
his total was N12250. "How can
that be?" He asked, "I only
purchased a few things!" "Your
mother said that you would pay
her," said the cashier.
Nigeria can never 4get who....... ???
1. Jamaica can never 4get = BOB
MARLEY
2. America can never 4get =
MICHEAL JACKSON
3. South Africa can never 4get =
MANDELA
4. Argentina can never 4get =
MARADONA
5. England can never 4get =
QUEEN ELIZABETH
6. Nigeria can never 4get
who....... ???
.
MARLEY
2. America can never 4get =
MICHEAL JACKSON
3. South Africa can never 4get =
MANDELA
4. Argentina can never 4get =
MARADONA
5. England can never 4get =
QUEEN ELIZABETH
6. Nigeria can never 4get
who....... ???
.
Akpors :” I’ve bought everything apart from ‘Total’.”
Akpos was given a list of
things to buy in the market by
his madam:
Pepper……..40
Fish………….60
Oil……………40
Tomatoes…200
Onion……….10
Total……..350
Akpos took longer than
expected and his Madam went
looking for him. After sighting
him from afar, she angrily said,
"what have you been doing for
goodness sake?"
Akpors replied:"Madam, don't
be angry. I've bought
everything apart from 'Total'."
things to buy in the market by
his madam:
Pepper……..40
Fish………….60
Oil……………40
Tomatoes…200
Onion……….10
Total……..350
Akpos took longer than
expected and his Madam went
looking for him. After sighting
him from afar, she angrily said,
"what have you been doing for
goodness sake?"
Akpors replied:"Madam, don't
be angry. I've bought
everything apart from 'Total'."
Monday, 11 July 2016
FUNNY:If the children of Israel were like Girls of today while crossing the red sea
THIS IS NO LONGER FUNNY:If the
children of Israel were like Girls
of today while
crossing the red sea, they would
hv spent the whole day in d
middle of the sea, taking pictures
and uploading it on Facebook,
whatsapp,bbm, Twitter
even on instagram with
comments like:
(1). Chilling with Moses.
(2). Miracle things on point.
(3). Cruising on the red sea.
(4). Omo see fish flexing.
(5). Pharaoh no fit catch us.
(6). Fish for sale, ping for delivery.
(7). Flexing with uncle Aaron
(8). Swimming mood activated.
(9). Me and my boo on fish
hunting
(10). We don cross the red sea na
God win(11) omo see gobe
pheroh go feel me.
children of Israel were like Girls
of today while
crossing the red sea, they would
hv spent the whole day in d
middle of the sea, taking pictures
and uploading it on Facebook,
whatsapp,bbm, Twitter
even on instagram with
comments like:
(1). Chilling with Moses.
(2). Miracle things on point.
(3). Cruising on the red sea.
(4). Omo see fish flexing.
(5). Pharaoh no fit catch us.
(6). Fish for sale, ping for delivery.
(7). Flexing with uncle Aaron
(8). Swimming mood activated.
(9). Me and my boo on fish
hunting
(10). We don cross the red sea na
God win(11) omo see gobe
pheroh go feel me.
Comedy: God answered Akpos prayer
AKPOS prayed so hard and one
day God finally talked to Him.
GOD: My Son, what do you
really
want?
AKPOS: I want a job, a big car
and lots of girls to be all
around me..
GOD: Is that all?
AKPOS: Yes…
GOD: Your prayer has been
answered.
AKPOS: Thank you God.
*** AKPOS is now A BUS
DRIVER in a FEMALE SCHOOL
day God finally talked to Him.
GOD: My Son, what do you
really
want?
AKPOS: I want a job, a big car
and lots of girls to be all
around me..
GOD: Is that all?
AKPOS: Yes…
GOD: Your prayer has been
answered.
AKPOS: Thank you God.
*** AKPOS is now A BUS
DRIVER in a FEMALE SCHOOL
Comedy: A Prof and Akpos played a game
A Prof and Akpos was
seating next to each other in a
long flight.
Prof said to Akpos: lets play a
game, I will ask you a question
and if you didn't get the
answer, you will pay me $50,
and if u ask me a question and I
don't get the answer, I will pay
you $5000.
The Prof started: What is the
distance from the earth to the
moon?
Akpos doesn't say a word, he
reaches his pocket and pulls
out a $50 and gives it to him.
Now it's Akpos turn to ask, He
said: What goes up the hill
with 3 legs and comes down
with 5 legs?
The Prof thought for a long
time,searches the net, and
asked all his smart friends but
couldn't get the answer.
He reached his pocket, pulled out
a $5000 and gave it to Akpos.
The Prof got mad and asked
Akpos:
Well, what the hell goes up the
hill with 3 legs and comes down
with 5 legs?.
Akpos just dipped his hand into
his pocket and gave Prof $50
and said: I don't know also.
seating next to each other in a
long flight.
Prof said to Akpos: lets play a
game, I will ask you a question
and if you didn't get the
answer, you will pay me $50,
and if u ask me a question and I
don't get the answer, I will pay
you $5000.
The Prof started: What is the
distance from the earth to the
moon?
Akpos doesn't say a word, he
reaches his pocket and pulls
out a $50 and gives it to him.
Now it's Akpos turn to ask, He
said: What goes up the hill
with 3 legs and comes down
with 5 legs?
The Prof thought for a long
time,searches the net, and
asked all his smart friends but
couldn't get the answer.
He reached his pocket, pulled out
a $5000 and gave it to Akpos.
The Prof got mad and asked
Akpos:
Well, what the hell goes up the
hill with 3 legs and comes down
with 5 legs?.
Akpos just dipped his hand into
his pocket and gave Prof $50
and said: I don't know also.
Sunday, 10 July 2016
Akpos and a girl on a table in a hotel
Akpos sits next to a girl on a
table in a hotel
Akpos: hello madam?
Lady: what is it?
Akpos: sorry madam , just
wanted to ask what the time is
on your watch?
Lady: ehee …now you think my
watch is used as a public clock
huh? Go away and stop wasting
my time
Akpos: but madam
Lady: shut up!!!
Akpos takes out his Apple phone
and makes call
Akpos: hello John I just settled
from Washington D.C can you
please tell me what time it is
right now so that I set my clock
to the local time since it still reads
American time? *she listens*
Ok, thank you and today don't
forget to come for the galaxy
tablet that you requested * she
listens*
Since my girl is still in America
bring me a beautiful girl to spend
my money with tonight Ok bye
Lady: sir the time is ….
Akpors: shut up !!!!!
table in a hotel
Akpos: hello madam?
Lady: what is it?
Akpos: sorry madam , just
wanted to ask what the time is
on your watch?
Lady: ehee …now you think my
watch is used as a public clock
huh? Go away and stop wasting
my time
Akpos: but madam
Lady: shut up!!!
Akpos takes out his Apple phone
and makes call
Akpos: hello John I just settled
from Washington D.C can you
please tell me what time it is
right now so that I set my clock
to the local time since it still reads
American time? *she listens*
Ok, thank you and today don't
forget to come for the galaxy
tablet that you requested * she
listens*
Since my girl is still in America
bring me a beautiful girl to spend
my money with tonight Ok bye
Lady: sir the time is ….
Akpors: shut up !!!!!
Saturday, 9 July 2016
Akpos and Musa decide punishment
Akpos and Musa were caught in
a Northern african country,
sharing a smuggled barrel of
beer. They were arrested and
taken to the Sheik's palace for
questioning and judgment.
Akpos lied that Musa smuggled
and forced him to drink the beer!
Both were initially given a death
sentence but, as it was a national
holiday, the Sheik decided they
should be released after some
lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their
punishment, the Sheik said, "It's
my first wife's birthday today and
she asked me to allow each of
you 2 wishes before your
whipping, but you cannot wish
not to be whipped!"
Akpos thought for a second then
said: "Please tie two pillows to
my back before whipping." And
my second wish is that you flog
me only 20 strokes of the whip.
He was whipped, and luckily for
him, the pillows helped to make
the pain of the whip lesser.
Musa saw this; thought for a
second, then said: "Thank you,
most royal and merciful highness
for the wishes. My first wish is to
receive 100 lashes with the
strongest, toughest whip
available.", Akpos laughed and
thought Musa was a fool…
The Sheik replied with a puzzled
look on his face," and your
second wish?"
Musa replied "Tie Akpors to my
back!"
a Northern african country,
sharing a smuggled barrel of
beer. They were arrested and
taken to the Sheik's palace for
questioning and judgment.
Akpos lied that Musa smuggled
and forced him to drink the beer!
Both were initially given a death
sentence but, as it was a national
holiday, the Sheik decided they
should be released after some
lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their
punishment, the Sheik said, "It's
my first wife's birthday today and
she asked me to allow each of
you 2 wishes before your
whipping, but you cannot wish
not to be whipped!"
Akpos thought for a second then
said: "Please tie two pillows to
my back before whipping." And
my second wish is that you flog
me only 20 strokes of the whip.
He was whipped, and luckily for
him, the pillows helped to make
the pain of the whip lesser.
Musa saw this; thought for a
second, then said: "Thank you,
most royal and merciful highness
for the wishes. My first wish is to
receive 100 lashes with the
strongest, toughest whip
available.", Akpos laughed and
thought Musa was a fool…
The Sheik replied with a puzzled
look on his face," and your
second wish?"
Musa replied "Tie Akpors to my
back!"
AKPOS AND HIS FATHER-IN-LAW
Young man, you coming to
seek my daughter's hand in
marriage and you are chewing
gum.
That's a sign of disrespect!
Akpos: Sir, I only chew gum
when I drink or smoke.
Father-In-Law: You mean u drink
& smoke and you are here to
seek my daughter's hand in
marriage?
Akpos: Sir I only drink & smoke
when I go to the club.
Father-In-Law: U club too?
Akpos: I'm sorry sir, I started
clubbing whenI came out of
prison.
Father-In-Law:- U've also been
in prison before? Oh my God!
Akpos: Sorry sir, I went to jail
when I killed somebody!,
Father-In-Law:- What!!! U're a
killer???
Akpos: Sir, it happened out of
anger. It was a certain man that
didn't allow me marry his
daughter so I killed him.
Father-In-Law: You are highly
welcome my son. U are on the
right track. U are absolutely the
right man for my daughter.
seek my daughter's hand in
marriage and you are chewing
gum.
That's a sign of disrespect!
Akpos: Sir, I only chew gum
when I drink or smoke.
Father-In-Law: You mean u drink
& smoke and you are here to
seek my daughter's hand in
marriage?
Akpos: Sir I only drink & smoke
when I go to the club.
Father-In-Law: U club too?
Akpos: I'm sorry sir, I started
clubbing whenI came out of
prison.
Father-In-Law:- U've also been
in prison before? Oh my God!
Akpos: Sorry sir, I went to jail
when I killed somebody!,
Father-In-Law:- What!!! U're a
killer???
Akpos: Sir, it happened out of
anger. It was a certain man that
didn't allow me marry his
daughter so I killed him.
Father-In-Law: You are highly
welcome my son. U are on the
right track. U are absolutely the
right man for my daughter.
Comedy: Only in Naija
Only in Naija ~Imagine!!! An
accident occurred today, 11
persons were injured, 12 died.
So the Minister of Health
promised to offer N5000 to the
injured and N6 million to the
dead for their funeral. One of
the injured got up and laid
where the dead were; one of
the dead shouted, "bros go
back to your place,no bring
confusion come here, they
have counted us oh !!!"
accident occurred today, 11
persons were injured, 12 died.
So the Minister of Health
promised to offer N5000 to the
injured and N6 million to the
dead for their funeral. One of
the injured got up and laid
where the dead were; one of
the dead shouted, "bros go
back to your place,no bring
confusion come here, they
have counted us oh !!!"
Akpos: The Babalawo's
Akpos traveled to Lagos after his
WAEC result was out so that his
Uncle will help him get admission
into the University of Lagos to
study medicine and become a
medical doctor….
The following conversation
happened between them:
Akpos: Uncle, I learnt its difficult
to get admission into the
university these days except you
are well connected…
Uncle: That's true…
Akpors: Since you are connected,
I came to ask you if you can help
me get admission into the
university after my JAMB….
Uncle: That's true… am connected
and I will help u….
Akpors: Thank you Uncle….
Uncle: You welcome…so how is
your result, is it WAEC or NECO
and how many credits did you
get?
Akpors: Uncle, it's WAEC, I had
only two credits in agric and
Yoruba language but I failed the
rest…
Uncle: Well, that's not bad… you
can still be a doctor, not a
medical doctor really but native
doctor (babalawo)…
You will use your credit in agric
in collecting herbs from the
forest, and Yoruba language for
incantations…
WAEC result was out so that his
Uncle will help him get admission
into the University of Lagos to
study medicine and become a
medical doctor….
The following conversation
happened between them:
Akpos: Uncle, I learnt its difficult
to get admission into the
university these days except you
are well connected…
Uncle: That's true…
Akpors: Since you are connected,
I came to ask you if you can help
me get admission into the
university after my JAMB….
Uncle: That's true… am connected
and I will help u….
Akpors: Thank you Uncle….
Uncle: You welcome…so how is
your result, is it WAEC or NECO
and how many credits did you
get?
Akpors: Uncle, it's WAEC, I had
only two credits in agric and
Yoruba language but I failed the
rest…
Uncle: Well, that's not bad… you
can still be a doctor, not a
medical doctor really but native
doctor (babalawo)…
You will use your credit in agric
in collecting herbs from the
forest, and Yoruba language for
incantations…
Akpos advice: Stop wasting time with the wrong person
Stop wasting time with the
wrong person you call them but
they don't pick up, they find your
missed calls but they don't call
back, you text them but they
never reply to any of your
messages, you always have time
for them but they are ever so
busy for you, you want to meet
them and have some mature
talks with them but they are full
of excuses, you do everything
possible to make them happy but
they don't appreciate your effort,
you introduced them to your
friends and family but they have
never introduced you to any
important person in their life,
you are so proud of them but
they aren't proud of you, you
truly love them but you aren't
sure if they love you because
they don't show it, you want to
spend your future with them but
they don't like to talk about
future plans, you are doing
everything youcan to make the
relationship work but they all
their best to make it end. Then
why are you with them? Why are
you wasting your time and
energy on them? Honestly you
deserve someone better who will
appreciate your effort and even
return your love.Stop wasting
your time with that wrong
person. Get yourself together and
move on. I know it isn't easy, but
if you know your worth, you'll
make it. —
wrong person you call them but
they don't pick up, they find your
missed calls but they don't call
back, you text them but they
never reply to any of your
messages, you always have time
for them but they are ever so
busy for you, you want to meet
them and have some mature
talks with them but they are full
of excuses, you do everything
possible to make them happy but
they don't appreciate your effort,
you introduced them to your
friends and family but they have
never introduced you to any
important person in their life,
you are so proud of them but
they aren't proud of you, you
truly love them but you aren't
sure if they love you because
they don't show it, you want to
spend your future with them but
they don't like to talk about
future plans, you are doing
everything youcan to make the
relationship work but they all
their best to make it end. Then
why are you with them? Why are
you wasting your time and
energy on them? Honestly you
deserve someone better who will
appreciate your effort and even
return your love.Stop wasting
your time with that wrong
person. Get yourself together and
move on. I know it isn't easy, but
if you know your worth, you'll
make it. —
Akpos: Who Is Jesus to you?
I went to a king and asked him:
Whois Jesus?He said, He is the
King of Kings.I went to a prince
and asked him:Who is Jesus? He
said, He is the Prince of peace. I
went to an electrician and asked
him: Who Is Jesus? He replied:
Jesus is the light of the World. I
went to a plumber and asked
him: Who Is Jesus? He replied:
Spring of life. I Went to a doctor
and asked: Who is Jesus? He
replied: Jesus is the greatest
physician. I Went to a hunter and
asked: Who is Jesus? He replied:
Jesus is the Lion of the tribe of
Judah. I went to a psychologist
and asked: Who is Jesus? He
replied: Jesus is the source of
wisdom. I went to a builder and
asked: Who is Jesus? He replied:
Jesus is a house built on the
Rock. I Went to a baker and
asked: Who is Jesus? He replied:
Jesus is the bread of life......... The
only person i didn't meet at
home was you..Now that i am
seeing you, let me ask you, Who
Is Jesus to you?
Whois Jesus?He said, He is the
King of Kings.I went to a prince
and asked him:Who is Jesus? He
said, He is the Prince of peace. I
went to an electrician and asked
him: Who Is Jesus? He replied:
Jesus is the light of the World. I
went to a plumber and asked
him: Who Is Jesus? He replied:
Spring of life. I Went to a doctor
and asked: Who is Jesus? He
replied: Jesus is the greatest
physician. I Went to a hunter and
asked: Who is Jesus? He replied:
Jesus is the Lion of the tribe of
Judah. I went to a psychologist
and asked: Who is Jesus? He
replied: Jesus is the source of
wisdom. I went to a builder and
asked: Who is Jesus? He replied:
Jesus is a house built on the
Rock. I Went to a baker and
asked: Who is Jesus? He replied:
Jesus is the bread of life......... The
only person i didn't meet at
home was you..Now that i am
seeing you, let me ask you, Who
Is Jesus to you?
Joke: a truck driver and a IMH (Institute of mental health) patient
One truck driver was doing his
usual delivery
to IMH
(Institute of mental health). He
discovered a
flat tyre when he was about to
go
home. He jacked up the truck and
took the flat
tyre
down. When he was about to fix
the spare
tyre, he
accidentally dropped all the bolts
into the
drain.. As
he can't fish the bolts out, he
started to panic.
One patient happened to walk
past and asked
the
driver what happened.
The driver thought to himself,
since there's
nothing
much he can do; he told the
patient the whole
incident. The patient laughed at
him & said
"can't even fix
such a simple problem.... no
wonder you are
destined to be a truck driver..."
Here's what
you can do, take one bolt each
from the
other 3 tyres and fix it onto this
tyre. Then
drive to
the nearest workshop and
replace the
missing ones,
easy as that" The driver was very
impressed
and
asked "You're so smart but why
are you here
at the
IMH?" Patient replied: "Hello, I
stay here
because I'm
crazy....... not STUPID..
usual delivery
to IMH
(Institute of mental health). He
discovered a
flat tyre when he was about to
go
home. He jacked up the truck and
took the flat
tyre
down. When he was about to fix
the spare
tyre, he
accidentally dropped all the bolts
into the
drain.. As
he can't fish the bolts out, he
started to panic.
One patient happened to walk
past and asked
the
driver what happened.
The driver thought to himself,
since there's
nothing
much he can do; he told the
patient the whole
incident. The patient laughed at
him & said
"can't even fix
such a simple problem.... no
wonder you are
destined to be a truck driver..."
Here's what
you can do, take one bolt each
from the
other 3 tyres and fix it onto this
tyre. Then
drive to
the nearest workshop and
replace the
missing ones,
easy as that" The driver was very
impressed
and
asked "You're so smart but why
are you here
at the
IMH?" Patient replied: "Hello, I
stay here
because I'm
crazy....... not STUPID..
Friday, 8 July 2016
Fun Time 14 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOUR MOTHER IS A NIGERIAN;...
1) When you say, "Mummy, I'm
Sorry!" And she replies, "Sorry for
yourself!".
2) When you ask her where you
should drop something and she
says, "Drop it on my head.".
3) When she brings food
wrapped in a nylon bag from a
party..
4) When you say, ''Mummy, I have
fever." And she replies you, "Why
won't you have fever when you
press phone every night"..
5) When you say, "Mummy I took
2nd in my class." and she replies,
"So the person that took first has
two heads abi?"..
6) When she takes the DSTV
remote to work, just to punish
you..
7) When you are watching
television with her and then she
sleeps off and still doesn't want
you to change the channel...
8) When you tell her you are
going to a friend's place to play
and she asks, ''When last did
that friend come here to play
with you?..
9) When she asks you if the food
she served you is enough,
andyou reply no, and she says,
come
and eat own with yours..
10) When she tells you, if I hear
Peem, you will hear Ween..
11) When she touches hot pot
comfortably without a cloth or
paper..
12) When she tells you, ''I didn't
kill my mother, so you will not
killme''..
13) When she calls you from your
room upstairs and then sends
you back upstairs to bring her
purse..
14) When you ask her to refund
the money you borrowed her
and she tells you, "All the food
you
have been eating in the house
nko? Which money did you think
was used in buying them?''
Our Mothers are wonderful.
GOD BLESS NIGERIANS MUMMY
Especially My Mummies
Sorry!" And she replies, "Sorry for
yourself!".
2) When you ask her where you
should drop something and she
says, "Drop it on my head.".
3) When she brings food
wrapped in a nylon bag from a
party..
4) When you say, ''Mummy, I have
fever." And she replies you, "Why
won't you have fever when you
press phone every night"..
5) When you say, "Mummy I took
2nd in my class." and she replies,
"So the person that took first has
two heads abi?"..
6) When she takes the DSTV
remote to work, just to punish
you..
7) When you are watching
television with her and then she
sleeps off and still doesn't want
you to change the channel...
8) When you tell her you are
going to a friend's place to play
and she asks, ''When last did
that friend come here to play
with you?..
9) When she asks you if the food
she served you is enough,
andyou reply no, and she says,
come
and eat own with yours..
10) When she tells you, if I hear
Peem, you will hear Ween..
11) When she touches hot pot
comfortably without a cloth or
paper..
12) When she tells you, ''I didn't
kill my mother, so you will not
killme''..
13) When she calls you from your
room upstairs and then sends
you back upstairs to bring her
purse..
14) When you ask her to refund
the money you borrowed her
and she tells you, "All the food
you
have been eating in the house
nko? Which money did you think
was used in buying them?''
Our Mothers are wonderful.
GOD BLESS NIGERIANS MUMMY
Especially My Mummies
Akpos: One Rainy Night
One Rainy Night, Akpors was
walking down a Muddy
road, when a Slow moving car
came and stopped
near Him,
without Hesitation, akpors
opened its
door and Sat on
the Co-Driver's seat..
The Car started Moving Slowly,
looking at The Driver's Seat, there
was No driver, Akpors became
Soo
afraid..
Just as He was trying to recover
from the shock, A
hand pooped from Outside and
Started controling
the steering wheel,.
Akpors Became Really afraid, And
Frozed on His
Seat,, he started Praying for His
Life..
Just as he was praying, the slow
Moving car
approached a Corner, wondering
What will happen,
again the Hand pooped in from
outside And
Steered
the Car Round the Corner….
Now Akpors became Really
afraid,Gathered all his
strength, opened the Door, and
Fell
outside, woke
up, Ran to a Late night
Restuarant
and Ordered a
Hot Drink, sat on one Corner and
Try to recover
From the shock..
As He was having His Drink, two
guys with mud all
over entered the Restuarant and
Ordered a Drink..
One Of them said,
"Look at that
in the Corner,
He Is the One who Entered In the
Car While we
were Pushing it…!
walking down a Muddy
road, when a Slow moving car
came and stopped
near Him,
without Hesitation, akpors
opened its
door and Sat on
the Co-Driver's seat..
The Car started Moving Slowly,
looking at The Driver's Seat, there
was No driver, Akpors became
Soo
afraid..
Just as He was trying to recover
from the shock, A
hand pooped from Outside and
Started controling
the steering wheel,.
Akpors Became Really afraid, And
Frozed on His
Seat,, he started Praying for His
Life..
Just as he was praying, the slow
Moving car
approached a Corner, wondering
What will happen,
again the Hand pooped in from
outside And
Steered
the Car Round the Corner….
Now Akpors became Really
afraid,Gathered all his
strength, opened the Door, and
Fell
outside, woke
up, Ran to a Late night
Restuarant
and Ordered a
Hot Drink, sat on one Corner and
Try to recover
From the shock..
As He was having His Drink, two
guys with mud all
over entered the Restuarant and
Ordered a Drink..
One Of them said,
"Look at that
in the Corner,
He Is the One who Entered In the
Car While we
were Pushing it…!
Mom and daughter
Daughter : Mom are you ok?
.
Mom : Yes hunny am ok *smiles*
.
Daughter : But you dont look ok
mom...!
.
Mom : Sweetheart i have to tell
you a secret...
.
Daughter : What secret mom?
.
Mom : I left something for you at
home in my drawer,its in a
brown envelope.
.
Daughter : Is it money mom?
.
Mom : Just look for it when you
get i need to rest.
.
Daughter : why mom?...whats
wrong?
.
Mom : Nothing dear...mommy is
gona be okay.
.
Daughter : Promise me mom?
.
Mom : Mommy loves you okay!
.
Daughter : Love you more mom.
.
And that was mommy's last
words to her
daughter,she died and may her
soul rest in peace.
.
And when the daughter got
home,she went straight to
mommy's room,and search her
drawer for the brown
envelope...and thanks god she
found it.it was a letter written by
mom.
.
LETTER :
Dear baby,i know life aint gona
be the same without me,and
things will be tough,but i just
want you to know that mommy
loves you and will always
love you.
.
I did what i did to protect you,i
had to transplant my heart to you
so that you survive,i know i
shuldve told you...but i just
couldnt coz i knew it was gona
break your heart.
.
Take care of yourself darling,i will
always be there with you.in your
heart.
.
Yours : Mommy
.
And the girl cried tears out!!...so
touching isnt it? We all need
moms in our lives, because a
mommy would do anything for
her child just because she is the
best, my hero!!
.
If your mom is still alive in (2016)
you so
blessed... Like & comment "I love
you mom" If she's died like &
type "RIP mom".
.
Dont Ignore if you care about
your mom!!!......
Share with others
.
Mom : Yes hunny am ok *smiles*
.
Daughter : But you dont look ok
mom...!
.
Mom : Sweetheart i have to tell
you a secret...
.
Daughter : What secret mom?
.
Mom : I left something for you at
home in my drawer,its in a
brown envelope.
.
Daughter : Is it money mom?
.
Mom : Just look for it when you
get i need to rest.
.
Daughter : why mom?...whats
wrong?
.
Mom : Nothing dear...mommy is
gona be okay.
.
Daughter : Promise me mom?
.
Mom : Mommy loves you okay!
.
Daughter : Love you more mom.
.
And that was mommy's last
words to her
daughter,she died and may her
soul rest in peace.
.
And when the daughter got
home,she went straight to
mommy's room,and search her
drawer for the brown
envelope...and thanks god she
found it.it was a letter written by
mom.
.
LETTER :
Dear baby,i know life aint gona
be the same without me,and
things will be tough,but i just
want you to know that mommy
loves you and will always
love you.
.
I did what i did to protect you,i
had to transplant my heart to you
so that you survive,i know i
shuldve told you...but i just
couldnt coz i knew it was gona
break your heart.
.
Take care of yourself darling,i will
always be there with you.in your
heart.
.
Yours : Mommy
.
And the girl cried tears out!!...so
touching isnt it? We all need
moms in our lives, because a
mommy would do anything for
her child just because she is the
best, my hero!!
.
If your mom is still alive in (2016)
you so
blessed... Like & comment "I love
you mom" If she's died like &
type "RIP mom".
.
Dont Ignore if you care about
your mom!!!......
Share with others
Joke (AKPOS) : A girl invited her boyfriend (Akpos) over for dinner
A girl invited her boyfriend
(Akpos) over for dinner in her
house so he could meet her
parents. While they were eating,
it
started raining heavily, so the
girls
mother said; "Akpos, i think you
should sleep over here because
the rain shows no sign of
stopping anytime soon" After
eating, the mom went to the
toilet and the father went to
sleep while the girl went to the
kitchen to clean the plates. When
the girl and her mother returned
to the sitting room, Akpos was
not there, they checked
all over the house and did not
find him. As they were
wondering
what happened to him, he
walked back into the house,
really soaked and with a plastic
bag.
Girl's mother: Where were you
and why are you so wet?
Akpos: I went home to get my
pyjamas ma!
(Akpos) over for dinner in her
house so he could meet her
parents. While they were eating,
it
started raining heavily, so the
girls
mother said; "Akpos, i think you
should sleep over here because
the rain shows no sign of
stopping anytime soon" After
eating, the mom went to the
toilet and the father went to
sleep while the girl went to the
kitchen to clean the plates. When
the girl and her mother returned
to the sitting room, Akpos was
not there, they checked
all over the house and did not
find him. As they were
wondering
what happened to him, he
walked back into the house,
really soaked and with a plastic
bag.
Girl's mother: Where were you
and why are you so wet?
Akpos: I went home to get my
pyjamas ma!
Joke (Akpos) : is it God who made A WAY?
Good afternoon, My name is
AKpos
I have not eaten since
yesterday because I had no
money.
Fortunately, I met my pastor
and asked him for some
money, at least, $1 (N300) for
Amala and ewedu.
The pastor prayed for me
instead, and told me God will
make a way. He added that he
would have given me if he had
any money.
As he removed his
handkerchief while he was
leaving, his $200 (N60,000)
dropped and he didn't notice.
Should I give the money back
to the pastor or is it God who
made A WAY?
AKpos
I have not eaten since
yesterday because I had no
money.
Fortunately, I met my pastor
and asked him for some
money, at least, $1 (N300) for
Amala and ewedu.
The pastor prayed for me
instead, and told me God will
make a way. He added that he
would have given me if he had
any money.
As he removed his
handkerchief while he was
leaving, his $200 (N60,000)
dropped and he didn't notice.
Should I give the money back
to the pastor or is it God who
made A WAY?
Enjoy what you have
"A guy met one of his school
mates
several years after school and he
could not believe his eyes; his
friend
was driving one of the latest
sleek
Mercedes Benz cars. He went
home
feeling awful and very
disappointed
in himself.
He thought he was a failure.
What
he didn't know was that his
friend
was a driver and had been sent
to
run errands with his boss's car.
.
Ama nagged at her husband
always
for not being romantic. She
accused
him for not getting down to
open
the car door for her as her friend
Rose's husband did when he
dropped
her off at work. What Ama didn't
know was that Rose's husband
car
had a faulty door that could only
be
opened from the outside.
.
Sampson's wife went to visit one
of
her long time friends and was
very
troubled within for seeing the 3
lovely kids of her friend playing
around. Her problem was that
she
had only one child and have been
struggling to conceive for the
past
five years.
What she didn't know was that
one
of those kids who was the
biological
child of her friend had sickle cell
and
had just a year to live; the other
two
are adopted.
.
Life does not have a universal
measuring tool so create yours
and
use it.
Looking at people and
comparing
yourself with them will not make
you better. If you knew the sort
of
load the chameleon carried you
would'nt ask why it takes those
gentle strides. Enjoy what you
have
mates
several years after school and he
could not believe his eyes; his
friend
was driving one of the latest
sleek
Mercedes Benz cars. He went
home
feeling awful and very
disappointed
in himself.
He thought he was a failure.
What
he didn't know was that his
friend
was a driver and had been sent
to
run errands with his boss's car.
.
Ama nagged at her husband
always
for not being romantic. She
accused
him for not getting down to
open
the car door for her as her friend
Rose's husband did when he
dropped
her off at work. What Ama didn't
know was that Rose's husband
car
had a faulty door that could only
be
opened from the outside.
.
Sampson's wife went to visit one
of
her long time friends and was
very
troubled within for seeing the 3
lovely kids of her friend playing
around. Her problem was that
she
had only one child and have been
struggling to conceive for the
past
five years.
What she didn't know was that
one
of those kids who was the
biological
child of her friend had sickle cell
and
had just a year to live; the other
two
are adopted.
.
Life does not have a universal
measuring tool so create yours
and
use it.
Looking at people and
comparing
yourself with them will not make
you better. If you knew the sort
of
load the chameleon carried you
would'nt ask why it takes those
gentle strides. Enjoy what you
have
Thursday, 7 July 2016
IF I DRINK ACID WILL I DIE?
please i need an answer to the above question. If you the answer
kindly give it in the comment box below.
kindly give it in the comment box below.
WHEN A LIZARD CAN, WHY CAN'T WE?
This is a true story that
happened in Japan. In order to
renovate the house, someone in
Japan breaks open the wall.
Japanese houses normally have a
hollow space between the
wooden walls.
When tearing down the walls, he
found that there was a lizard
stuck there because a nail from
outside hammered into one of
it's feet.
He sees this, feels pity, and at the
same time curious, as when he
checked the nail, it was nailed 5
years ago when the house was
first built! What happened?
The lizard has survived in such
position for 5 years! In a dark
wall partition for 5 years without
moving, it is impossible and mind
boggling. Then he wondered
how this lizard survived for 5
years! Without moving a single
step - since it's foot was nailed!
So he stopped his work and
observed the lizard, what it has
been doing to survive.
Suddenly, another lizard appears
with food in its mouth! The
Japanese builder was stunned
and deeply touched. For the
lizard that was stuck by nail,
another lizard has been feeding
it for the past 5 years... It has
been doing that untiringly for 5
long years, without giving up
hope on its partner.
Imagine what a small creature
can do and humans blessed with
a brilliant minds can't.
Please never abandon your loved
ones. Never say you're too busy
when they really need you. You
may have the entire world at
your feet. But you might be the
only one in their world.
A moment of negligence might
break the very heart which loved
you against all odds. Before you
say something just remember it
takes a moment to break but an
entire lifetime to make.
happened in Japan. In order to
renovate the house, someone in
Japan breaks open the wall.
Japanese houses normally have a
hollow space between the
wooden walls.
When tearing down the walls, he
found that there was a lizard
stuck there because a nail from
outside hammered into one of
it's feet.
He sees this, feels pity, and at the
same time curious, as when he
checked the nail, it was nailed 5
years ago when the house was
first built! What happened?
The lizard has survived in such
position for 5 years! In a dark
wall partition for 5 years without
moving, it is impossible and mind
boggling. Then he wondered
how this lizard survived for 5
years! Without moving a single
step - since it's foot was nailed!
So he stopped his work and
observed the lizard, what it has
been doing to survive.
Suddenly, another lizard appears
with food in its mouth! The
Japanese builder was stunned
and deeply touched. For the
lizard that was stuck by nail,
another lizard has been feeding
it for the past 5 years... It has
been doing that untiringly for 5
long years, without giving up
hope on its partner.
Imagine what a small creature
can do and humans blessed with
a brilliant minds can't.
Please never abandon your loved
ones. Never say you're too busy
when they really need you. You
may have the entire world at
your feet. But you might be the
only one in their world.
A moment of negligence might
break the very heart which loved
you against all odds. Before you
say something just remember it
takes a moment to break but an
entire lifetime to make.
Akpos’ WAEC result is Finally Out
Akpos' WAEC result is Finally Out.
The following conversation
ensued between he and his
father:
Papa Akpos: Akpos,I learnt your
WAEC result is out.
Akpos: Daddy, you remember
Arthur who used to emerge first
in our class at the end of every
term ? he failed. .
Papa Akpos: That's terrible,what
happened?
Akpors: You also remember Izzy
who used to tutor me in the
house? He failed too
Papa Akpos: what's with the
poor performance?
Akpos: Daddy I don't know.
That's how it is.
Even Kelvin who won the Cowbell
Science and Maths competition
failed.
Papa Akpos: so how was your
own result?
Akpos : You also remember Osas
our senior prefect? He failed too.
Papa Akpors: (Angrily) Boy, tell
me about your own result!!
Akpos : (angrily) If all those
people
failed, do you expect me to pass?
Am I a wizard?
The following conversation
ensued between he and his
father:
Papa Akpos: Akpos,I learnt your
WAEC result is out.
Akpos: Daddy, you remember
Arthur who used to emerge first
in our class at the end of every
term ? he failed. .
Papa Akpos: That's terrible,what
happened?
Akpors: You also remember Izzy
who used to tutor me in the
house? He failed too
Papa Akpos: what's with the
poor performance?
Akpos: Daddy I don't know.
That's how it is.
Even Kelvin who won the Cowbell
Science and Maths competition
failed.
Papa Akpos: so how was your
own result?
Akpos : You also remember Osas
our senior prefect? He failed too.
Papa Akpors: (Angrily) Boy, tell
me about your own result!!
Akpos : (angrily) If all those
people
failed, do you expect me to pass?
Am I a wizard?
Wednesday, 6 July 2016
DONT MOCK JESUS : SEE THE END OF THOSE THAT MOCKED HIM.
John Lennon (Singer):
Some years ago, during his
interview with an
American Magazine, he said:
'Christianity will end, it will
disappear.
I do not have to argue about
that.. I am certain.
Jesus was ok, but his subjects
were too simple,
today we are more famous than
Him' (1966).
Lennon, after saying that the
Beatles were more
famous than Jesus Christ, was
shot six times.
Tancredo Neves (President of
Brazil ):
During the Presidential
campaign, he said if he
got 500,000 votes from his party,
not even God
would remove him from
Presidency.
Sure he got the votes, but he got
sick a day
before his inauguration as
President and he died.
Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian
composer, singer and
poet):
During A show in Canecio ( Rio
de Janeiro ),
while smoking his cigarette, he
puffed out some
smoke into the air and said:
'God, that's for you.'
He died at the age of 32 of LUNG
CANCER in a
horrible manner.
The man who built the Titanic
After the construction of the
Cruise Ship, Titanic,
a reporter asked him how safe
the Titanic would
be.
With an ironic tone he said:
'Not even God can sink it'
The result: I think you all know
what happened to
the Titanic
Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham
during a
presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent
him to preach
to her.
After hearing what the Preacher
had to say, she
said: 'I don't need your Jesus'.
A week later, she was found
dead in her
apartment
Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On
one of his 1979
songs he sang:
'Don't stop me; I'm going down
all the way, down
the highway to hell'.
On the 19th of February 1980,
Bon Scott was
found dead, he had been choked
by his own
vomit.
Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas , Brazil, a group of
friends, drunk,
went to pick up a friend.....
The mother accompanied her to
the car and was
so worried about the
drunkenness of her friends
and she said to the daughter
holding her hand,
who was already seated in the
car:
'My Daughter, Go With God And
May He Protect
You.'
She responded: 'Only If He (God)
Travels In The
Trunk, 'Cause Inside Here.....It's
Already Full '
Hours later, news came that they
had been
involved in a fatal accident,
everyone had died.
The car could not be recognized
what type of car
it had been, but surprisingly, the
trunk was
intact.
The police said there was no way
the trunk could
have remained intact.
To their surprise, inside the trunk
was a crate of
eggs, none was broken
Christine Hewitt (Jamaican
Journalist and
entertainer) said the Bible (Word
of God) was the
worst book ever written.
In June 2006 she was found
burnt beyond
recognition in her motor vehicle.
Many more important people
have forgotten that
there is no other name that was
given so much
authority as the name of Jesus.
Many have died, but only Jesus
died and rose
again, and he is still alive....
"J-E-S-U-S"
PS: If it was a joke, you would
have sent it to
everyone.
So, are you going to have the
courage to send
this?.
I have done my part.
Jesus said:
'If you are embarrassed about
me, I will also be
embarrassed about you before
my father.'
Some years ago, during his
interview with an
American Magazine, he said:
'Christianity will end, it will
disappear.
I do not have to argue about
that.. I am certain.
Jesus was ok, but his subjects
were too simple,
today we are more famous than
Him' (1966).
Lennon, after saying that the
Beatles were more
famous than Jesus Christ, was
shot six times.
Tancredo Neves (President of
Brazil ):
During the Presidential
campaign, he said if he
got 500,000 votes from his party,
not even God
would remove him from
Presidency.
Sure he got the votes, but he got
sick a day
before his inauguration as
President and he died.
Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian
composer, singer and
poet):
During A show in Canecio ( Rio
de Janeiro ),
while smoking his cigarette, he
puffed out some
smoke into the air and said:
'God, that's for you.'
He died at the age of 32 of LUNG
CANCER in a
horrible manner.
The man who built the Titanic
After the construction of the
Cruise Ship, Titanic,
a reporter asked him how safe
the Titanic would
be.
With an ironic tone he said:
'Not even God can sink it'
The result: I think you all know
what happened to
the Titanic
Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham
during a
presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent
him to preach
to her.
After hearing what the Preacher
had to say, she
said: 'I don't need your Jesus'.
A week later, she was found
dead in her
apartment
Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On
one of his 1979
songs he sang:
'Don't stop me; I'm going down
all the way, down
the highway to hell'.
On the 19th of February 1980,
Bon Scott was
found dead, he had been choked
by his own
vomit.
Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas , Brazil, a group of
friends, drunk,
went to pick up a friend.....
The mother accompanied her to
the car and was
so worried about the
drunkenness of her friends
and she said to the daughter
holding her hand,
who was already seated in the
car:
'My Daughter, Go With God And
May He Protect
You.'
She responded: 'Only If He (God)
Travels In The
Trunk, 'Cause Inside Here.....It's
Already Full '
Hours later, news came that they
had been
involved in a fatal accident,
everyone had died.
The car could not be recognized
what type of car
it had been, but surprisingly, the
trunk was
intact.
The police said there was no way
the trunk could
have remained intact.
To their surprise, inside the trunk
was a crate of
eggs, none was broken
Christine Hewitt (Jamaican
Journalist and
entertainer) said the Bible (Word
of God) was the
worst book ever written.
In June 2006 she was found
burnt beyond
recognition in her motor vehicle.
Many more important people
have forgotten that
there is no other name that was
given so much
authority as the name of Jesus.
Many have died, but only Jesus
died and rose
again, and he is still alive....
"J-E-S-U-S"
PS: If it was a joke, you would
have sent it to
everyone.
So, are you going to have the
courage to send
this?.
I have done my part.
Jesus said:
'If you are embarrassed about
me, I will also be
embarrassed about you before
my father.'
Joke: Who do you think is smarter?
An Edo man invited his friends
Hausa, Yoruba and Igbo mens for
his mother's burial!
After lowering the coffin, the
family put yam, rice,meat etc, into
the grave in line with tradition.
An hausa man asked why? The
Edo man smiled and said,
according to our tradition, the
dead go on long journey and
need all the food items they can
get. Then, the Hausa man
dropped #100,000 inside and
said, "when the food finish, buy
more".
The Yoruba man also dropped #
50,000 and said, "add this incase
it's not enough".
Then Igbo man smiled and
brought out his cheque book
and wrote a cheque of #200,000
dropped it in the coffin with
tears and took the #150,000
notes as a change, then said,
"Nwanne, withdraw when you
reach dia o......it is going to be a
dangerous journey we don't
know how many robbers are out
there and after all we in a
cashless economy na! Travel well
ooo!!!
Who do you think is smarter?
Hausa, Yoruba and Igbo mens for
his mother's burial!
After lowering the coffin, the
family put yam, rice,meat etc, into
the grave in line with tradition.
An hausa man asked why? The
Edo man smiled and said,
according to our tradition, the
dead go on long journey and
need all the food items they can
get. Then, the Hausa man
dropped #100,000 inside and
said, "when the food finish, buy
more".
The Yoruba man also dropped #
50,000 and said, "add this incase
it's not enough".
Then Igbo man smiled and
brought out his cheque book
and wrote a cheque of #200,000
dropped it in the coffin with
tears and took the #150,000
notes as a change, then said,
"Nwanne, withdraw when you
reach dia o......it is going to be a
dangerous journey we don't
know how many robbers are out
there and after all we in a
cashless economy na! Travel well
ooo!!!
Who do you think is smarter?
Tuesday, 5 July 2016
Akpos accidentally typed the wrong email address
Akpos checked into a hotel.
There was a computer in his
room, so he decided to send a
mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed
the wrong email address, and
without realising he sent the mail
to a widow who had just
returned from her husband's
funeral.
The widow decided to check her
mail, expecting condolence
messages from relatives and
friends.
After reading the first message
she fainted.
The son rushed into the room,
found his mother on the floor
and saw the
computer screen which read: "To
my loving wife, I know you are
surprised to hear from me, they
have computers here and we are
allowed to send mails to loved
ones.
I've just been checked in.
How are you and the kids? The
place is really nice but I'm lonely
here.
I have made necessary
arrangement for your arrival
tomorrow. I'm expecting you,
darling. I can't wait to see u!
There was a computer in his
room, so he decided to send a
mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed
the wrong email address, and
without realising he sent the mail
to a widow who had just
returned from her husband's
funeral.
The widow decided to check her
mail, expecting condolence
messages from relatives and
friends.
After reading the first message
she fainted.
The son rushed into the room,
found his mother on the floor
and saw the
computer screen which read: "To
my loving wife, I know you are
surprised to hear from me, they
have computers here and we are
allowed to send mails to loved
ones.
I've just been checked in.
How are you and the kids? The
place is really nice but I'm lonely
here.
I have made necessary
arrangement for your arrival
tomorrow. I'm expecting you,
darling. I can't wait to see u!
King, Servant And The Dogs
The late king of my community
had ten wild dogs. He used them
to torture and eat any of his
servants who made a mistake.
One of the
servants gave an opinion which
was wrong, and the king didn't
like it at all. So he ordered that
the servant be thrown to the
dogs.
The servant said, "I served you
for ten years, and you do this to
me? Please give me ten days
before throwing me to those
dogs!"
The king agreed.
In those ten days, the servant
went to the guard who looks
after the dogs and told him he
would like to serve the dogs for
the next ten days. The guard was
baffled but agreed, and the
servant started feeding the dogs,
cleaning for them, bathing them,
and providing all sorts of comfort
for them.
When the ten days were over, the
king ordered
that the servant be thrown to the
dogs for his
punishment. When he was
thrown in, we were all amazed to
see the ravenous dogs only
licking the feet of the servant!
The king, baffled at what he was
seeing, said,
"What has happened to my
dogs?"
The servant replied, "I served the
dogs for only
ten days, and they didn't forget
my service. Yet I served you for a
whole ten years and you forgot
all, at my first mistake!"
The king realised his mistake and
ordered the
servant to be set free.
This post is a message to all
those who forget
the good things a person did for
them as soon as the person
makes a mistake towards them.
Don't put out the history that is
filled with good
because of a mistake you don't
like.
Hope I made sense
had ten wild dogs. He used them
to torture and eat any of his
servants who made a mistake.
One of the
servants gave an opinion which
was wrong, and the king didn't
like it at all. So he ordered that
the servant be thrown to the
dogs.
The servant said, "I served you
for ten years, and you do this to
me? Please give me ten days
before throwing me to those
dogs!"
The king agreed.
In those ten days, the servant
went to the guard who looks
after the dogs and told him he
would like to serve the dogs for
the next ten days. The guard was
baffled but agreed, and the
servant started feeding the dogs,
cleaning for them, bathing them,
and providing all sorts of comfort
for them.
When the ten days were over, the
king ordered
that the servant be thrown to the
dogs for his
punishment. When he was
thrown in, we were all amazed to
see the ravenous dogs only
licking the feet of the servant!
The king, baffled at what he was
seeing, said,
"What has happened to my
dogs?"
The servant replied, "I served the
dogs for only
ten days, and they didn't forget
my service. Yet I served you for a
whole ten years and you forgot
all, at my first mistake!"
The king realised his mistake and
ordered the
servant to be set free.
This post is a message to all
those who forget
the good things a person did for
them as soon as the person
makes a mistake towards them.
Don't put out the history that is
filled with good
because of a mistake you don't
like.
Hope I made sense
Monday, 4 July 2016
Your grace will not be transfered to another person
PLEASE READ CAREFULLY A
white man came down from
America, down to Nigeria. He
logged in a hotel. At the midnight
when he was observing his
quiet time. He began to hear
musical instrument, that was
coming from a nearby hotel.
But his attention was basically on
the piano sound, which is
also the keyboard. He said in his
mind...."The person playing
this keyboard is very good, I
think I need to see him". So it
happens that, over there in
America, the man has a studio,
and
his keyboarder has resigned.
And he needs a new keyboarder.
So he finds this great
opportunity to pick the young
man, who was playing that
keyboard at the nearby hotel.
So right there in the hotel, the
particular young man who was
playing the keyboard, was been
disturbed by his hand set, one of
his friend was calling him on
phone, so before the white man
could enter the hotel, the
young man handed the keyboard
over to another person and went
to answer his call.
The white man
met the manager of the hotel
and tell him that he want to
employ his keyboarder, and will
take
him over to America. The manager
accepted and asked him which
of the keyboarder.
The white man replied and said
that he want to employ the
present person he met when he
came in. So the next day, he
processed his papers, and took
him over to America.
Note: The person playing the
keyboard for the first time, was
the
person who was qualified for the
job over to America. But when
he went to answer a call, the
grace was transferred to the
second person who took over
the keyboard.
My prayer for You: When its time
for you to be promoted, I pray
that your destiny and your
promotion will not be transfered
to
another person in Jesus name.
I won't FORCE you to type AMEN!
and share this post.
white man came down from
America, down to Nigeria. He
logged in a hotel. At the midnight
when he was observing his
quiet time. He began to hear
musical instrument, that was
coming from a nearby hotel.
But his attention was basically on
the piano sound, which is
also the keyboard. He said in his
mind...."The person playing
this keyboard is very good, I
think I need to see him". So it
happens that, over there in
America, the man has a studio,
and
his keyboarder has resigned.
And he needs a new keyboarder.
So he finds this great
opportunity to pick the young
man, who was playing that
keyboard at the nearby hotel.
So right there in the hotel, the
particular young man who was
playing the keyboard, was been
disturbed by his hand set, one of
his friend was calling him on
phone, so before the white man
could enter the hotel, the
young man handed the keyboard
over to another person and went
to answer his call.
The white man
met the manager of the hotel
and tell him that he want to
employ his keyboarder, and will
take
him over to America. The manager
accepted and asked him which
of the keyboarder.
The white man replied and said
that he want to employ the
present person he met when he
came in. So the next day, he
processed his papers, and took
him over to America.
Note: The person playing the
keyboard for the first time, was
the
person who was qualified for the
job over to America. But when
he went to answer a call, the
grace was transferred to the
second person who took over
the keyboard.
My prayer for You: When its time
for you to be promoted, I pray
that your destiny and your
promotion will not be transfered
to
another person in Jesus name.
I won't FORCE you to type AMEN!
and share this post.
A FUNNY CONVERSATION BETWEEN A BOY AND A GIRL
Boy: Honey
Girl: Darling
Boy: I want to tell you something
Girl: go on my love Boy: you
know that I
love you so much
Girl: Yes, even if I was not told
Boy: I want to tell you that I
have found another lover!
Girl: dont furnish me with that
joke of yours this moment
Boy: not a joke my angel
Girl: but mine, you said that am
the only lover you have
Boy: yes, I do but.....
Girl:（bend down her head and
weep silently）
after all the promises you made
to me. She turns and left him, the
boy
ran after her
and hold her hand and said－
Boy: but do you know the name
of the new
lover? Girl: (silent)
Boy: the new lover is God.
Girl: raised up her head
Boy: Since I loved him, every
negative things
changed. I dont know how to
express his
goodness in my life.
See my angel, it will be good for
both of us to
love him more than we love
ourselves, okay? Girl: I love God.
.
Now if you love God, just type. I
love you God
Girl: Darling
Boy: I want to tell you something
Girl: go on my love Boy: you
know that I
love you so much
Girl: Yes, even if I was not told
Boy: I want to tell you that I
have found another lover!
Girl: dont furnish me with that
joke of yours this moment
Boy: not a joke my angel
Girl: but mine, you said that am
the only lover you have
Boy: yes, I do but.....
Girl:（bend down her head and
weep silently）
after all the promises you made
to me. She turns and left him, the
boy
ran after her
and hold her hand and said－
Boy: but do you know the name
of the new
lover? Girl: (silent)
Boy: the new lover is God.
Girl: raised up her head
Boy: Since I loved him, every
negative things
changed. I dont know how to
express his
goodness in my life.
See my angel, it will be good for
both of us to
love him more than we love
ourselves, okay? Girl: I love God.
.
Now if you love God, just type. I
love you God
What makes the letter “J” very special
What makes the letter "J" very
special is "JESUS was born in
JUDEA which is in JERUSALEM.
His Earthly father was JOSEPH the
son of JACOB.
He was baptized by JOHN the
baptist in the most popular river
JORDAN which is located at the
wilderness of JUDEA.
JAMES and JOHN were his best
disciples, he was also known as
the king of the JEWS.
He was sold by JUDAS Iscariot
just for thirty pieces of silver and
when
he died, JOSEPH of Arimathea
requested for His body and was
buried in JERUSALEM.
That's why He is the God of
JUSTICE. Finally His Father's name is
JEHOVAH."
If you believe that JESUS truly
died for your sins, just comment
I LOVE JESUS.
SHARE THIS POST ON YOUR WALL
SO THAT ALL YOUR FRIENDS WILL
SEE THIS AND GAIN FROM IT...
SHARE THIS POST ON YOUR WALL
SO THAT ALL YOUR FRIENDS WILL
SEE THIS AND GAIN FROM IT.
special is "JESUS was born in
JUDEA which is in JERUSALEM.
His Earthly father was JOSEPH the
son of JACOB.
He was baptized by JOHN the
baptist in the most popular river
JORDAN which is located at the
wilderness of JUDEA.
JAMES and JOHN were his best
disciples, he was also known as
the king of the JEWS.
He was sold by JUDAS Iscariot
just for thirty pieces of silver and
when
he died, JOSEPH of Arimathea
requested for His body and was
buried in JERUSALEM.
That's why He is the God of
JUSTICE. Finally His Father's name is
JEHOVAH."
If you believe that JESUS truly
died for your sins, just comment
I LOVE JESUS.
SHARE THIS POST ON YOUR WALL
SO THAT ALL YOUR FRIENDS WILL
SEE THIS AND GAIN FROM IT...
SHARE THIS POST ON YOUR WALL
SO THAT ALL YOUR FRIENDS WILL
SEE THIS AND GAIN FROM IT.
Things turned around for good
A Friend of mine approached a
lady for marriage,
.......... And this is what happens ....
LADY: Micheal so you don't know
slippers get size?
Do I look like your type ehn?! So
don't you ever try
this again in your life.
My friend felt so bad, he was
humiliated and
frustrated, then he decided to
forget and move ahead
of life.
Few months later, things turned
around for good,
this lady saw him at the
shopping car he is now the
CEO of markins group of
campany ........
She approached him an said .......
LADY: Micheal just because I said
no the first time
you approached me, was that
why you left and never
come back?, Am sorry, I was only
testing your
patience .......
MICHEAL: Hmmmm...... My dear is
too late. Then he
ordered one of his driver to give
her, his invitation
card for his wedding ceremony.
----- Now, I declare to the first
10000 hands to type
"AMEN" That, those who said
"Who are you?" Are
coming to say "How are you?"
Those who use to reproach you
will soon approach
you" can you type "AMEN"
lady for marriage,
.......... And this is what happens ....
LADY: Micheal so you don't know
slippers get size?
Do I look like your type ehn?! So
don't you ever try
this again in your life.
My friend felt so bad, he was
humiliated and
frustrated, then he decided to
forget and move ahead
of life.
Few months later, things turned
around for good,
this lady saw him at the
shopping car he is now the
CEO of markins group of
campany ........
She approached him an said .......
LADY: Micheal just because I said
no the first time
you approached me, was that
why you left and never
come back?, Am sorry, I was only
testing your
patience .......
MICHEAL: Hmmmm...... My dear is
too late. Then he
ordered one of his driver to give
her, his invitation
card for his wedding ceremony.
----- Now, I declare to the first
10000 hands to type
"AMEN" That, those who said
"Who are you?" Are
coming to say "How are you?"
Those who use to reproach you
will soon approach
you" can you type "AMEN"
Blood money
Please i have a question..=S
if I go to the hospital to sell my
blood, is it d same thing as
blood money?
Is it?=^>
if I go to the hospital to sell my
blood, is it d same thing as
blood money?
Is it?=^>
Romantic But Economical
Some Husbands hold their
wife's hands in the mall
because if they leave her hand,
she'll start shopping. It looks
ROMANTIC but its ECONOMIC.
wife's hands in the mall
because if they leave her hand,
she'll start shopping. It looks
ROMANTIC but its ECONOMIC.
Akpos, the Ghanian
Akpos, a Ghanian, just got
admission into one of the
Nigerian institutions. At the first
day of lecture, the following
conversation erupted..... The
Lecturer said, "let's begin by
reviewing some Nigerian
history." The Lecturer asked who
said, "I shall return to die in the
land of my fathers?" She saw a
sea of blank faces, except for
Akpos, who had his hand up.
Akpos replied: "King Jaja of
Opobo, 1875" "very good!" said
lecturer. Then,she asked again,
who said, "The land use act will
feed the nation?" Again, no
response except from
Akpos:"Obasanjo , 1976."The
Lecturer snapped at the class;
"class, you shouldbe ashamed.
Akpos, who is new to our
Country, knows more about our
history than you do." The
Lecturer heard a loud
whisper:"Ghana must go". "who
said that?" shedemanded, Akpos
put his hand up,"Buhari 1984."
At that point, a student at the
back scornfully said; "Hmmm, you
think you are smart?" The
Lecturer glared and asked; "All
right! Now, who s
aid that?" Again, Akpos
said,"Babangida to
Abiola,1992." Hmmm, a Student
at the back smilled "I dey laugh
ooh" Akpos smilled back and said
Obasanjo to Atiku 2001. Now
furious, another student
yelled;"Oh yeah! Eat this!" Akpos
jumped out of his chair waving
his hand and shouting to the
Lecturer, "Indian mistress giving
an apple to Abacha, 1998" Now,
with almost mob hyseria,
someone said; "You little shit. If
you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Akpos frantically yelled at the top
of hisvoice; "Chris Uba to Ngige,
2004!" The Lecturer fainted, and
as the class gathered around her
on the floor, someone said; "Oh
shit, we're in Big trouble now!"
Akpos whispered; "Chimaroke
Nnamani, Ayodele Fayose and
Lucky Igbinedon 2007" Someone
angrily said; "Dont answer him,
he is a fool" Akpos smiled nd
replied; "Obansanjo to IBB, 2011"
Now, the Lecturer managed to
get up and asked Akpos; pls,
who're you? Show your self..
Akpos jumped, yelled and said;
Jonathan to BOKO HARAM, 2012
admission into one of the
Nigerian institutions. At the first
day of lecture, the following
conversation erupted..... The
Lecturer said, "let's begin by
reviewing some Nigerian
history." The Lecturer asked who
said, "I shall return to die in the
land of my fathers?" She saw a
sea of blank faces, except for
Akpos, who had his hand up.
Akpos replied: "King Jaja of
Opobo, 1875" "very good!" said
lecturer. Then,she asked again,
who said, "The land use act will
feed the nation?" Again, no
response except from
Akpos:"Obasanjo , 1976."The
Lecturer snapped at the class;
"class, you shouldbe ashamed.
Akpos, who is new to our
Country, knows more about our
history than you do." The
Lecturer heard a loud
whisper:"Ghana must go". "who
said that?" shedemanded, Akpos
put his hand up,"Buhari 1984."
At that point, a student at the
back scornfully said; "Hmmm, you
think you are smart?" The
Lecturer glared and asked; "All
right! Now, who s
aid that?" Again, Akpos
said,"Babangida to
Abiola,1992." Hmmm, a Student
at the back smilled "I dey laugh
ooh" Akpos smilled back and said
Obasanjo to Atiku 2001. Now
furious, another student
yelled;"Oh yeah! Eat this!" Akpos
jumped out of his chair waving
his hand and shouting to the
Lecturer, "Indian mistress giving
an apple to Abacha, 1998" Now,
with almost mob hyseria,
someone said; "You little shit. If
you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Akpos frantically yelled at the top
of hisvoice; "Chris Uba to Ngige,
2004!" The Lecturer fainted, and
as the class gathered around her
on the floor, someone said; "Oh
shit, we're in Big trouble now!"
Akpos whispered; "Chimaroke
Nnamani, Ayodele Fayose and
Lucky Igbinedon 2007" Someone
angrily said; "Dont answer him,
he is a fool" Akpos smiled nd
replied; "Obansanjo to IBB, 2011"
Now, the Lecturer managed to
get up and asked Akpos; pls,
who're you? Show your self..
Akpos jumped, yelled and said;
Jonathan to BOKO HARAM, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)